My Blog Intentions

Part of my success with my yoga challenge in September I believe was because of the intention I set for myself. In the past when I would set any kind of goal I would procrastinate and wait until New Years. When New Years was finally here I would write it in my journal, think about it, and honestly forget about it after that. Because of this I rarely, if ever achieved my goals. 

It wasn't until I started watching "Yoga with Adriene" on YouTube that this changed for me. My thought process changed, my way of doing things changed. She mentioned setting intentions, living life authentically, and being true to yourself. When I decided I wanted to push myself to a daily yoga practice I didn't wait for New Years I started right away, I did write about it in my journal, but I didn't just think about it I chose to act on it. I put it out into the universe and decided that I would hold myself accountable. Putting it online definitely helped me keep with it because being the social media butterfly that I am, I loved sharing my thoughts and feelings. Posting a daily photo helped keep me motivated.

Because of all these contributing factors I was successful in my goal. So I am going to take this approach again. 

As some of you may have heard I signed up for school a few months ago and was set on going in December. All the papers were signed, financial aid was figured out, and I was planning my schedule around it. I kept having doubts but figured it was just fear so instead of listening to it I ignored it. 

Tarot deck after tarot deck I kept getting cards (sometimes the exact same ones) that pertained to my situation and got me thinking. It got me asking myself all the right questions about what I wanted to do with my life and where I wanted to be in 5 years. I got readings from others hoping maybe I would get a different response. The same topics kept coming up. It was decision time and the universe wanted me to make one.

Now I am sure some of you reading this are thinking tarot cards? Really? Lets just say for sake of argument that tarot cards and readings are all bullshit...it doesnt matter. The glorious thing about all of this was that I finally was taking the time to sit and think about what I was doing rather than just acting on going to school because it looked like a great option. So yes I believe that the tarot cards acted as a trigger in bringing out what was already going on inside me.

Doing what us girls do I called my sister. Not only is my sister the greatest person on the planet BUT she also has a lot of experience with school, goals, going after what you want, and listening to your inner voice. 

After another 3 hour chat on the phone with her I came to my conclusion.

I was looking at going to school for Esthetics.

This is so dumb but not once in my plan to go to school did I ever once ask myself if Esthetics was something I wanted to do. My intention with going to school was why not? Maybe its time. I havent done anything life changing or altering in a while. It would make good money. I like makeup and beauty maybe I'll like waxing and doing facials. 

I don't know about you but thats silly. I should be going to school because I want to do waxing and facials not because I might have an interest in it. 

What do I want to do career wise? If anything is possible and you have all the dedication in the world what would you want to do with it? If you only live once and could do ANYTHING, what would it be? 

“Our only limitations are those we set up in our own minds”

I read a blog post that had an exercise where you write down everything you have ever done just for you. Something you enjoy doing, and even if you never made any money at it would you still do it? The ONLY thing I wrote down was blogging and making videos. YouTube is still pretty new to me but even if I never made any money at I would still do it because I enjoy it. I have had a blog since 2011, I have had multiple blogs in the past, and I have blogged for other companies on their blogs. Blogging has always been something I love.

SO! The point of this blog. I have decided not to go to school, I have decided that I am going to make blogging work for me. I want this to one day be my full time job. I love it and I am going to make it happen. I have committed to three blog posts a week and a video once a week. I am committed to this happening and I will work my ass off until it does. 

I am setting an intention right now to make blogging happening. I am putting it out there the same way I did with my yoga goal. 

I also want to express my deepest gratitude to those of you reading this. YOU are what makes this possible and I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I appreciate each and every one of you! 

Much love to you as always!

-Magnolia Rose 

Honest Blog Rant & September Yoga Challenge!

I have always admired those bloggers out there that are openly honest and true to their readers. Not only because it takes balls to admit to the world that your life isnt as great as your instagram may lead on to be, but because it helps me when I can relate to what there writing about. News flash! My life isnt all smiles and rainbows!

Its been 11 years since my parents divorce and I am still working through my shit. Even through all my wisdom that life and the ranch has so lovingly given me I am still 22 years old. I am still maturing, growing, and learning. Sometimes I need to remember that just because I have been through a lot doesn't mean I should or need to have it all figured out. I think that's one of the joys of life ;)

DISCLAIMER: This blog post might be all over the place.

I have been on what you could call a spiritual and emotional "journey". Religion isn't really my thing but connecting to my spirit and my soul seems to be an underlining topic that keeps coming back to me over and over again. It reminds me of the quote from Albert Einstein.

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Well I feel a little insane. I am at a place in life that feels stagnant and lonely. I feel like being in touch with my emotions has always been a good thing when it comes to the eyes of a therapist but sometimes life has a way of making you feel shitty about being self aware and in touch with them. I believe it's because communicating and really being in touch with your emotions is viewed as a weakness in today's world. Its stupid really.

I think we all need to remember that we are human beings with feelings and there is nothing wrong with our feelings. They are ours and they are there for a reason, and that reason is OK.

I am aware of my feelings, my emotions, my tendencies, my strengths, my weakness etc...Its communicating them to the right people, the necessary people, and in a safe place that I struggle with. Lately I just haven't expressed them because it feels like to much work. This is where my issue is. Not expressing myself is causing a disconnect between me and my emotional self. Its shutting me off and making me feel sort of numb.

Imagine a cup that someone is pouring water into. If you aren't taking water out or drinking it as fast as someone is pouring it in, it is going to over fill.

I feel over filled. I feel overwhelmed. I am exhausted in every way and sleep doesn't do anything. My body is so overwhelmed that physical issues have started to join in on the fun and it is no longer just an emotional thing.

Even with all this going on I cant even begin to express how grateful I am for the self awareness my therapy over the years has provided for me. Because of this I am able to notice this disconnect and do something about it. I believe that being aware of this allows the universe to provide opportunities for me that will benefit me if I pay attention.

So being open and trying to remain positive I of course found myself last week at Dancing Cranes ironically during their psychic fair. I got another reading from Denise which was again awesome and lots to chew on. Had an awesome conversation with my sister and have committed to a yoga challenge for the month of September. Yoga with Adriene on YouTube is one of my favorite Yogi instructors. She says...

"Yoga is really the art of waking up. Getting back to the true you. It can be that simple. Yoga offers up a way for us to see a world that is working for you instead of against you."

I love that! She also talks a lot about setting an intention and keeping things real and organic. So that is what I am doing...I am setting an intention to create a connection between me and my spirit/soul through yoga. By doing this I am hoping I can find some inner strength to work on the emotional emptiness going on inside me. I am hoping to connect with others who feel like I do and who believe in some of the same stuff I do. I am looking for emotional healing and want to find a safe place within myself and/or a community of people where I can openly express whats in my heart and work through what I need to work through.

I am doing yoga EVERYDAY during the month of September. My sequences will be shorter on the weekends but I am still doing it every day. I am participating in Erin Motz 10 min "Bad Yogi" Challenge as well as #fallintobackbends on instagram. Along with the 10 min with Erin and a picture everyday for the instagram challenge I am doing a 30-60 min yoga sequence with Adriene on YouTube.

I am sure I will share more as the month goes on. Heres to becoming emotionally, spiritually, and psychically balanced.

Much Love to all of you! NAMASTE!

-Magnolia Rose