Two years ago when I signed with my agency I would always turn down any audition that involved fitness because I wasn't happy with my body. Just like pretty much every female on this planet I was concerned with cellulite and not looking "good enough" so it was just easier not to go to the audition.
After getting sick of saying no to auditions I decided I would start P90X and start eating better to get my body to where I was confident and comfortable. P90X lasted maybe a week.
Fast forward 8 months later and I purchase a gym membership for the same reason. I didn't go once and ended up canceling after a month.
Here I was so concerned with what other people thought that I was literally wasting my time and money on a gym membership and programs to do at home that I didn't really want to do. It wasn't successful for me because I wasn't doing it for me. I was doing it for everyone else.
I think a lot of woman have become obsessed with this unrealistic expectation to look like a stick figure overly Photoshopped model. And I think that this insecure obsession stems from other woman's insecure feelings towards their bodies which we pick up on at a young age and then duplicate. It ends up being this circle of insecurity.
Here's where it stopped for me. And of course insecurities come back but there's a way to resolving these feelings that many of us have.
Its all in your attitude and your attitude YOU have control over. Once you realize that these thoughts are irrational feelings based off of YOUR insecurities that YOU have created in YOUR mind. You can then accept yourself and see the true beauty that you and your uniqueness have to offer.
So to connect all these thoughts to present day...This week I had an audition for a yoga clothing company. As I was standing there in barely any clothing in front of 5 other people I didn't know and a few girls with killer bodies I wasn't worried about anything and I felt completely comfortable in my body.
I had visible cellulite, stretch marks, and my body is definitely not tight all over but ive learned to accept these so called "flaws" as a part of me and have learned to love them. I am proud to be at a point in my life where I am eating healthier foods and working out when I want to but in the end I am what you call happy and healthy. And I am making better decisions about food and fitness for ME.
I am comfortable with my body because I take care of it. And when these insecure feelings start to drift into my mind I acknowledge that they are there and then move on.