And just like that we're half way through the first month of the new year.
I hope you all are doing well and manifesting some magic with the fresh new start of 2017.
Its typically by now that our new year goals fall off and we pick up those old patterns and habits. The gyms slow down, were no longer juicing, were back to drinking soda, etc...were waiting until next year to "start again".
Im telling you now that it doesn't have to be that way. I truely believe sticking to goals and creating new habits has so much to do with our inner dialogue and our way of thinking. Our external world reflects our internal state and we have way more control over this than we give ourselves credit for.
If you are finding yourself in this low level thinking go check out my last post.
By changing your mindset and re organizing your thinking. You don't need to wait until next year. You can start right now - in this moment.
So what's been up for me since January 1st?
The start of 2017 has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. A gorgeous emotional rollercoaster I am honored and so grateful to be on.
To start the new year off with high vibe thoughts and mega magic I took to my spirituality tool kit. I started another round of May Cause Miracles - which has an amplified affect when you are pregnant and hormonal.
When I participated in this 40 day guide last year my life changed dramatically.
I learned a lot during those 40 days, it was during that time that I realized most of my life was ruled by fear and I desperately needed to make some changes. MCM focuses on replacing fear with love by creating "daily subtle shifts for radical change and unlimited happiness". This beautiful guide inspired the first steps to a very needed life detox for me in 2016.
One year later, my life is drastically different and I have this wonderful tool in my back pocket. Twice a year I participate in this 40 day guide and I love it.
Each year I have decided to do a private course with me and a few peeps at the start of the year. Then in May I open it up on my blog to all of you and we do it as a group. You can check out the details > HERE <
We have a Facebook group with daily dialogue and a group of miracle workers who connect, encourage, and help each other out throughout the process. It's great!
This round of MCM has already brought up a lot for me. I'll be honest in saying that this did surprise me. I went into this round feeling like I had detoxed a lot of my fears already and that participating would be a breeze. It would be a refresher course, mostly to get me ready to share it with all of you in May.
Now that I'm about 2 weeks deep I'm realizing that the work is never done. It's a continuous process of peeling back layers. And although I live life with a miracle mindset I still have fear that creeps in from time to time, and that's ok.
This round specifically i've realized I have a lot of fear around my blog and my YouTube channel. I have a fear of failure and not being heard. Both fears tell me "I'm not good enough" and were developed at some point in my childhood.
It's been an interesting process uncovering these fears and dealing with them now as an adult.
I love that this book guides me through those issues by uncovering them delicately daily. I love that self love, forgiveness and gratitude are weekly topics and that following this guide takes me maybe 10-15 min a day.
I spend more time going to the bathroom and fucking around on SnapChat. When people tell me they don't have time for this kind of work it blows my mind. I love when Gabrielle Bernstein says "do you have time to feel like shit?"
It's not that we don't have time, it's that our fear and our ego keep us stuck. It's our resistance that makes us think we don't have time.
I take what I learned in those 10-15 min and apply it throughout my entire day - each day is more authentic, happier, more productive, and less stressful. Doing it for 40 days creates a new patter and a new way of thinking. You've learned how to silence that resistance and view life with the leans of love rather than fear.
As a bonus everyone around you has been picking up your good vibes since you started this process and they are benefiting also.
My spirituality has blossomed so much in the last few years through these subtle shifts and I NEED to start integrating more of it into my work online. I want to share the wisdom thats radically changed my life. So be ready! Now is the time for light workers and I am feeling the call. This year is going to have a spiritual focus and my blog is going to evolve - not only by my passion for spirituality but by my new role as a mama.
And I can't wait for these changes.
Like I mentioned, it's been a rollercoaster. Uncovering fears can be messy, even when you are spiritually strong. Add the hormonal adventure of being pregnant and you are in for one hell of a ride.
Pregnancy feels like what every teenage drama would describe being a vampire like. I know that sounds dramatic but Im not kidding.
Everything is escalated and your body is in a constant state of transition. You are hungry, thirsty, tired, and uncomfortable in your own skin. Every emotion is heightened and more intense. Your intuition is at its max and you are more sensitive than ever.
As uncomfortable as it is, this weird thing happens mentally where you enjoy it just as much as you don't. The grace, surrender, and strength that it takes to be pregnant makes you feel so productive and powerful. It's a little bit insane and honestly intimidating.
Participating in MCM, meditating daily, and spirituality in general is rad during pregnancy. I feel like just as every emotion is heightened all the bonuses are too.
Ive got two pregnancy gems for you! Two videos where I talk about all the prego details. Part 1 is my experience with pregnancy. Part 2 is a product guide/review.
Check them out below!
In other news...I cleaned out a lot of files on my mac to start the new year fresh and ended up deleting my entire iMovie library...*face palm.
I lost all of the footage I had filmed and edited from the last 2 years.
Not only is this a huge slap in the face creatively but editing this particular video was a major part of the healing process. I worked hard in creating a really beautiful video with footage from the most difficult life changing year and just like that its gone.
Im currently dealing with the lack of control I have over getting that footage back and its been very frustrating. I'm working on the miracle of it being a glorious release that happened for a reason, but I'm still hoping and waiting for it all to somehow be restored. More on how this plays out later...
A rad change to 2017 is I finally made the leap to legally changing my name.
For those of you that didn't know, the name Magnolia Rose is not my original name.
I was born under a different name and decided Magnolia Rose would be my internet alias.
The name fit so well Ive wanted to make it my middle name for a while. After my dads poor decisions and my split with Josh I didn't want either of my last names as options. And I definitely didnt want either on my babies birth certificate.
So I filed a petition with the court to legally change both my middle and last name and as of January 10th, 2017 I officially became Emily Magnolia Rose.
Ironically the judge that I met with for my name change was one of the first judges we met with in 2015 regarding the issues around my grandmas death.
It was strange being in that particular court room with that particular judge explaining why I no longer want to be affiliated with both my father and my ex.
Another emotional ride but also a beautiful closure to what now feels like a past life.
I think its safe to say that this year so far as been emotional. But emotional in a great way.
I spent a day last weekend detoxing, meditating, listening to music, and reading. I just allowed myself a complete break to feel every emotion my sweet hormones wanted me to feel. It was a great release and giving myself the permission to just flow with it was amazing. It was much needed and super fabulous.
With all that said, I am really grateful for all of the tools I have as well as Mason who keeps my crazy in check and continues to make me smile every day.
Much love to you all!