Today I am sharing a Q&A with Fashion blogger Noel - who (after stalking all of her social media platforms) is absolutely adorable! This girl is totally stunning and this couple is totally gorgeous!
I really dig what she says regarding advice. The whole point of this blog series I put together is to showcase that EVERY couple is different. What works for one doesn't work for another. I feel like she (although young) totally gets it.
Like Josh and I, they got married young. I was also 19 when we got married and I felt the same way back then as she does now. Marriage changes and evolves throughout the years the same way we as human beings change and evolve. Change I can guarantee all of you!
It sounds like they have some passionate fire going on in their marriage, which is great. Keep it going girl! Remember that fire and keep your love flowing in 5 years when things do change (because they will) and again in 10, 15, 20, 30, 50 years etc...
I think you both are adorable and I cant wait to see you and your relationship continue to blossom! Rock on rockstar, thanks for sharing your story with us and thanks for being just about the cutest damn couple in existence.
Q&A with Noel
1. What is the status of your current relationship?
2. How long have you been together?
1 year and a half
3. How did you meet?
Oh gosh, so embarrassing...through Instagram
4. Do you feel the same way you felt for your partner at the beginning of the relationship? If not, whats changed?
I have no clue how it's possible but every day I love him more and more. Sometimes I look back to when we got engaged after only a few months of dating and I think I was absolutely crazy because I feel like I barely loved him only compared to how much I care for him now haha.
5. If you are single, how did your relationship end & why?
I am not single, very happily married but when I was dating, guys didn't get a second date if they didn't open the car door for me or ask me questions or even dressed a certain way (the slob kabob way is how I call it, when guys where basketball shorts and a tee on a first date).
I'm picky I know but I just have certain standards. And when I was in a relationship it usually ended because of lack effort on the guys side. I'm a super giving girlfriend, I love spending quality time with the person, baking for them, writing sweet notes, back tickles, etc and I once dated a guy who made other plans on my birthday and just never went out of their way to show their affection for me. My husband now is the most thoughtful, gentleman-like and loving guy. He also dresses super nice ;) I'm very lucky!
6. Define commitment:
Commitment (in a relationship) to me means to put your relationship first and do whatever it takes to see it through. When I was engaged to my now husband, we talked about how if anything ever got rough in our future we would 100% go to counseling, take a couples trip and do whatever necessary to stay together. We have and want an everlasting love and will do anything to keep that going!
7. What makes your relationship unique?
I think every love and relationship is unique in their own way. Nobody is exactly like my husband and no one is exactly like me. But one thing specifically that makes our relationship different is that through out our whole year of dating and being engaged we did it through distance!
I would only see him for one random weekend each month when he would fly/drive down to Arizona from Utah or I would fly up to Utah! We would write each other love letters, text constantly and FaceTime when we were apart, we basically dated through our phones mostly haha.
8. What has been the most difficult challenge in the relationship?
Definitely the distance! Oh my goodness that was hard. I cried every time he left. It tested our relationship like no other. But it also taught us some great habits that have made our relationship thrive. Such as communication, trust, and never taking each other for granted.
9. What is the most rewarding aspect of the relationship?
Feeling loved, safe, and at ease are some of the best feelings in the world. I know 100% my husband thinks I'm beautiful inside and out. I can fall asleep every night next to him knowing I'm his and that I'll always be his and he'll do everything he can to take care of me and vice versa!
And being able to be myself, no matter how moody I get, or goofy or how many blonde moments I have or how loud I sing in the shower or how weird my dance moves are around our apartment, it's just the best.
I feel confident around him and like I don't have to filter my thoughts or actions much. He just laughs it off and kisses me and thinks I'm the cutest ;)
10. Define unconditional love:
I was told at a very young age that there should not be "unconditional love" in a relationship. At first I didn't agree but then they continued and said that in a relationship you should never just go about your day assuming you will be loved forever and that you don't have to work for it anymore. That you should spend your lifetime always dating and being worthy of the love you're given.
In a marriage both partners should assume that they could still lose their loved one (because they totally can if they don't put forth effort and always try to become a better spouse) so that they don't get lazy or too comfortable with where they are at.
I strive every day to make the love in our marriage grow and make sure my husband knows how much he means to me. If I assumed he had an unconditional love for me it could be too easy to give up on doing the little and big things to show him how I feel about him.
11. How important to you is honesty and trust in relationships? Share your reason for your answer.
On a scale from 1-10 an 11, most definitely honesty and trust is soooo soooo soooooooo important to have in a relationship.
Since we did distance while we were dating it was scary everyday thinking to myself that he is surrounded by cute girls all over Utah that are much more convenient than myself and we had many conversations about it since he had felt the same way often about guys in Arizona! But when it came down to it, we were just being insecure and silly. We 100% trusted each other and knew that we would be faithful to one another.
When you love someone you are giving them the opportunity to totally break your heart and that's scary so you can go crazy sometimes with these fears. But my husband and I would always comfort each other by doing FaceTime dates nightly and always talking about our feelings and making sure we both were comfortable with each other going to certain activities in our cities and all that.
Communication is everything and being loyal and dedicated to one another builds that trust.
12. How important to you is communication in relationships? Share your reason for your answer.
Like I said above, communication is everything! Our whole dating period relied on that. Talking through out the day and not just the small stuff like "what are you up to" or "how was work" but the big stuff. Talking about our goals, what we want out of life, how we want to raise kids, where we'd like to live, where we both are at with our faith etc.
Dating is fun definitely, but once I started to date return missionaries, I knew I was at the age where any one of those guys could turn into a marriage and unless I knew them and felt we connected well and wanted a similar future, there was just no point in going any further.
When I dated my husband, we talked about all the good stuff right off the bat since he had messaged me about a month before I was going up to Utah to visit some family and so we knew each other pretty well before our first date. And as time went on and things got more serious we had talked so much and learned so many things about each other, that I knew in my heart and with out a doubt that he was meant to be mine for eternity.
13. How do you think fear effects relationships?
Fear can definitely hold you back from finding your happiness with love. I can totally remember being engaged and fearing all the change that was going to occur and calling my then fiancé now hubs, and crying.
I was getting married at 19, moving away from my family and friends to a different state, and starting a family and all that comes with that. My fears could have easily kept me from this great life that I now live.
It holds you back from opening up to your partner, from experiencing new adventures, and from furthering your commitment. If I hadn't gotten past that I would have lost my great love.
Sometimes you just need to talk through it with someone you admire and has been in your spot, HELLO THE PERSON YOURE WITH, and pray hard to God and if it's all meant to be you'll be able to see it all through.
14. What is your greatest fear about your relationship or relationships going forward?
Honestly my greatest fear was giving up my "adolescents" and being a sucky wife haha. Like I said I was 19 when we were engaged, that's like scary young! My husband was turning 24 and had been out on his own since 18. I still lived with my parents and I don't think I ever paid a single bill prior to being married. I'm VERY close to my mother. We are bestfriends and when I was a child she had breast cancer and I think the thought of leaving her ever terrified me. I was so sad to leave my family. And then I had this huge fear that I wouldn't be a good wife or homemaker! My dinner specialty was taco salad or a panini and I only managed to keep my room clean for like a day each week haha.
But I moved, and did I cry? No, surprisingly. Do I call my mom daily? Yes haha. Have I learned to cook and keep our apartment clean? A few meals are pretty tasty, I did burn banana bread the other day though but my husband is super happy to come home to a clean house and he'll eat anything so it all works out. PLUS being a good wife is about a lot more than cooking and cleaning, and what I didn't realize is that being a good wife is the same as being a good girlfriend. Nothing huge changes except you now live with the guy and you combine incomes.
I leave little notes for my babe, tell him I love him constantly, tickle his back after a long work day, listen to his stories, laugh at his jokes, take turns planning date nights, and kiss him goodbye every morning and goodnight every night etc....and in my opinion Im doing a pretty good job at all that ;) I
t really isn't as scary or hard like I thought it would be, in fact it's SO fun and so rewarding being his wife.
15. What have you sacrificed in your relationship?
It's not been as hard of a sacrifice as I thought, but moving to Utah for my husbands schooling has been a sacrifice for myself. I wasn't very excited about it and I never thought I would ever live here but it's been a fun little adventure. And my husband is going to school to be a PA, so for the next few years it's all about that and so something that's been harder for me to adjust to is not starting a family soon. We are waiting until after he finishes up school so I feel like that's been a harder sacrifice, but in the long run will be the best for our situation to wait until he's done.
16. How have you personally grown/what have you learned form the relationship?
I have become a much better me since being with my man. Even in the last year of dating, being engaged and now married I've grown so much through all those stages. I'm not even the same girl I was when we were dating.
I'm confident, much more outgoing, I feel more independent, and more motivated. I was never super good being on my own before but now I'm all good to go to doctors appointments and grocery shopping on my own.
I get things done on time now and have all this motivation and drive to have the apartment clean and errands done. My husband is a wonderful provider but him being a student as well, I am working to help out right now and I used to hate working and I would complain all the time to my friends and family (im the worst I know) but since being married I've been way happy to work and help provide and I even LOVE my job now.
My husband also is my number one fan and is so supportive and I've been wanting to start a fashion blog basically since I was 16 and like a month after my husband and I got married he basically wouldn't let me leave the room until I made a blog and now he's my photographer as well and it's just been really great because I've been able to have all these experiences since and it's really all because of him encouraging me and giving me such a boost of confidence!
17. Any regrets?
NONE. I love my husband and I never thought I would have gotten married so young but honestly he came to me at the right time.
I truly believe he is my soulmate and I was meant to find him. Being such a young bride a lot of people probably thought I was crazy or going to miss out on so many experiences but that's not true at all. I can do so much more with my husband now that I know I wouldn't have done if I didn't have him.
I'm learning to cook and to be a homemaker, which I wouldn't have had the motivation for prior. Like I said I've started my blog, which probably would have taken me another few years to get around to with out his support. And I'm just a happier person on a daily basis because of him. I have sweeter dreams and wake up glowing.
18. Greatest advice someone ever gave you about relationships?
To not take anyone else's advice haha! When we were engaged everyone felt the need to tell me how to have the most successful marriage we could and inform me on all the hard times ahead and how "the first year is the hardest" and all this crap. I'm adopted and my birthfathers wife told me to not listen to anyone and to just talk with each other daily on what we should do for each other to make the other happy because when they were first married people warned them about the same stuff and tried giving advice and she said they were married for 5 years before they ever even had a big fight. They thought something was wrong in their marriage since people told them that marriage can be way hard and the first or second year would be the hardest. She went on to say that no relationship is the same and everyone's needs can be so different so just focus on each other and don't worry about anyone else.
So I guess technically she was giving advice and that's to communicate always and not worry about what anyone else is doing or saying ;) okay, so yeah that's the advice I guess hahaha.
19. What do you think of the saying "you cant learn to love anyone else, unless you love yourself"
I think that statement couldn't be more true. When I was dating guys previous to my husband I was more shy and insecure and didn't know my worth yet which resulted to a few failed relationships. One of which I was cheated on in the end and I can remember being so sick and hurt over it that I decided I wanted to be the type of girl that guys wouldn't want to let go of, that people gravitated to and that was worth it.
I didn't know how to be selfless and love another fully because I was so focused on hiding what I thought were my flaws and not being fully open to others about who I really was. So that meant I needed to find myself and love myself so I would shine from the inside out. I decided to started my fashion merchandising program, travel, reconnect with my birth family (which was actually a huge part in finding my happiness and self) and spend quality time with my girlfriends and family and work out.
Instantly after improving my health, relationships, self image, and education I realized that I am a totally cool girl and that I have a lot to offer to this world and after that even the types of guys I started to date were way better (older, mature, better looking, and had things going for them as well) and ultimately I met Dan (my husband and the best there is ) and it was the best timing! I didn't worry about me as much, so I could give myself fully to him and focus on him and his needs.
20. What do you love most about yourself?
I love that I can easily get along with just about everyone. I'm very empathetic which is a huge blessing in my opinion because I've always been able to make people feel good, to be a friendly face for them and to help improve all of my relationships with family, friends and my spouse.
I've been gifted with an ability to find connections with anyone and to quickly feel comfortable with other people. It's also been really easy to adjust to others needs since I can feel where they are coming from and understand.
One thing my friends always have described me as since I was a little girl is how nice I am. And I really try my hardest to make sure I am always nice to everyone no matter what and try my hardest to make my loved ones happy.
21. What are your hopes going forward and what do you most look forward to?
Oh man...Well right now I am super looking forward to getting a puppy (a little french bulldog) and then going to Greece which is my hubby and I's huge trip after PA school to congratulate him and me for surviving ;) and then of course above all starting a family and making a home with my husband! My hope is to have a successful, happy and loving marriage with my babe.
Be sure to check out the past blog posts for more relationship Q&A's - I hope you are all enjoying this series as much as I am!