Today I share with you beautiful people my Q&A with my dear friend Amanda. I love Amanda, we met a few years ago and hit it off immediately. We are kindred spirits and I hate that I dont see her enough.
I have known her throughout her relationship with her ex. Although I dont know every detail of her relationship, I do know that Amanda gave her heart to this guy multiple times and he did not handle with care. But Amanda is one of those people who sees the good in everyone, she is highly sensitive and has a sincere care for everyone.
She is full of love and deserves the world. Unfortunately we live in a world where weak people take advantage of this beautiful quality.
There are so many view points on cheating in relationships and there are so many different ways to cheat in a relationship. Its different for each couple but its something I personally do NOT tolerate. I think cheating says a lot about a person and where they are at emotionally.
It in NO way has anything to do with the person they are cheating on. Cheating is a personal issue, its a cry for help, its a victim mentality, its selfish, pathetic, and it shows a lack of accountability. Cheating is a perfect example of someone who has a serious lack of self love for themselves and needs to go on a "self love" exploration.
Plain and simple. If you dont want to be in a relationship or you dont have the emotional capacity to be in a relationship. Dont be. Communicate with your partner and know your relationships boundaries. Be honest and live with integrity. Its good for your soul, your karma, and those around you.
If you have been cheated on. Forgive, dont let it ruin you, move on, and invest in yourself. Amanda is the very BEST example of someone who is continuously improving. I hope she knows how proud of her I am. She is a fucking women warrior and I feel honored to be her friend.
If you have cheated. Take accountability, be honest (lying makes it worse), forgive yourself, dont do it again, move on from your mistakes, and start investing in yourself by looking deeper into your issues.
Q&A with Amanda
1. What is the status of your current relationship or past relationship that you will be referring to?
Past relationship; we are not speaking.
2. How long were you together?
Almost 2 years.
3. How did you meet?
Online (Plenty of Fish)
4. How did your relationship end & why?
A lot of different factors, but basically I was not happy because there were a lot of trust issues. He lied and cheated on me.
5. Define commitment:
Commitment is when you give something or in this case someone, your all. It is something that you devout your time and who you are to.
6. What made your relationship unique?
What made it unique was it was the most serious relationship I have ever been in.
7. What was the most difficult challenge in the relationship?
Trust. There was none. It made everything challenging.
8. What was the most rewarding aspect of the relationship?
Constantly having a best friend.
9. Define unconditional love:
It is where you love somebody regardless of their flaws. You love them despite the things you don't particularly like.
10. How important to you, is honesty and trust in relationships? Share your reason for your answer.
It is HUGE!! This was my biggest lesson from my last relationship. You let somebody think they will get away with a lie once, they will try it again.
11. How important to you, is communication in relationships? Share your reason for your answer.
Communication is also a very important part of a relationship. Without being able to communicate what is the purpose of a relationship?
12. How do you think fear effects relationships?
I think it can effect it immensely. If you are in constant fear of someone cheating or lying, where is the happiness? And isn't happiness what a relationship is suppose to be about?
13. What is your greatest fear about relationships going forward?
My greatest fear about relationships going forward is that I will ignore the red flags again. I don't think I will because I have learned so much from my past, but I am afraid that when I am in the moment and happy I will just not pay attention. Or I will do the opposite and be way too picky about men.
14. What have you sacrificed in your relationship?
In the past I sacrificed my happiness. I will never do that again.
15. What do you think of gender stereotypes?
I think they are interesting. And to an extent true. But I think it is because to a certain extent individuals feel that they need to fulfill the roles society puts on them.
16. How have you personally grown/what did you learn form the relationship?
I will not settle. I have learned that I am good enough for the guy that I want. And I'm not going to ever settle again.
17. Any regrets?
Nope. Because I know this is my journey. I needed to get to this point to be where I am today.
18. Greatest advice someone ever gave you about relationships?
Don't sacrifice your happiness.
19. What do you think of the saying "you cant learn to love anyone else, unless you love yourself"
Totally and 100% agree. If you aren't happy with who you are, I guarantee your insecurities will effect the relationship.
20. What do you love most about yourself?
I love my honesty and that I am so caring about others. My newest love about myself is that I say what I am thinking, I don't hold back anymore.
21. What are your hopes going forward and what do you most look forward to?
I hope down the road I find somebody. I hope that I am able to find that pure genuine love that my parents have and a few of my friends. But I also hope that I am smart about it. I look forward to the journey.
Shout out to Amanda for being so open and honest about her past relationship. Going through something like that is incredibly difficult and sharing it with a random audience takes some serious lady balls.
I love you all and hope you are doing amazing!